God's All Sufficient Grace

AAAHHHHH! I am exhausted. I have come undone...

I'm now into my third week here in Pibor, and it is taking all I have and don't have to make it through each day! It is unimaginable here...as if though things have gotten harder here since last March when I was last here: our coolest day is in the high nineties; we have a constant dry, harsh wind blowing, surrounding us in gritty sand laced with cow, human and bat feces and who knows what else, so you could say we are here drinking sand, and it is causing us to have a terrible cough and breathing problems!

Then the flies, hundred hundreds, whrring whrrring, bzzzing around us, landing on any part of out bodies they please, in our ears, on our lips...yuck! pestering, billigerent buggers that we must swat at all day long, till night time, when they miraculously disappear, only to return wtih a vengence at sunrise the next day! It is wonder to type on the laptop as I swat flies from all parts of my body at the same time!!

Then there are the swarming beeesss...stinging us as we try to bathe in the bathhouse in the mornings, and the never ending swarm of scorpions at night, uncovered by the wind, out hunting any moving prey...and the nasty, stinking little brown bats all hanging in a row, high up in the roof of the class room, their droppings on out seats and desk all the time...and a lingering weariness that drains my soul ... ohhh! it's been quite an adventure, requiring more grace than even I knew was available...

I am simply exhausted...

BUT then, there is the never ending, quickening, visibly active mercy and grace of Almighty Jehovah sustaining the bare- bones lives of the Murle people, who have survived in this harsh land for much more that the mere three weeks that I am here...

AND the starry, starry starry nights in a sky that seem to have no end as I lie on my back on my bed, now outdoors, avoiding the heat of the room....and the moon, now only a quarter of it grand size, rising at about 1:00 am in the morning now, and still so bright, it seems to light up the entire community!

Pibor is a misery and a miracle every day! The children drink the stagnant river water, put into rusted drums to be used by the builders, in which animals and people bathe and drink everyday. And yet they are still up and about, running around in the scorching, afternoon sun, no shoes on their feet, as they run amidst the thorn infested bushes, collecting discarded, plastic, soda bottles they wear like special badges on the bottom of their tattetered shirts! Ay! nothing about life and living it in Pibor is easy!!

The women, mostly bone thin, babies strapped to their backs, their bodies looking like they haven't washed in weeks, carry huge loads of dried leaves, twice their weight, used for thatching roofs, walking in the heavy light of the early morning light, or else with huge bundles of fire wood on their heads, walking to the the market to make a sale so they can make some money to buy food for the one evening meal they cook per day!

Pibor! It haunts, tortures, and angers me deeply me at the same time to be here! There are times, when I wish I had wings like a dove, so I could just fly away and never ever come back, ever! And there are times, when the deep need of the people make we wish I was a Murle and could stay forever and spread my healing wings over all, and make everything better, especially for women and children...

Am I glad to have returned? Yes and no....yes, because it amazes and humbles me that God has seen fit to bring me, of all people on the face on this earth, to serve Him here amongst his people.... and no, because I feel the weakness of my physical body more than ever here, and this saddens me...

Still, I am thankful to be here, if for no other reason than to be able to assure these teachers, that even though it might seem to them "that kawajahs are more clever than Africans," this is not true in the least bit!

The kawajahs are all those not from South Sudan, whites and Westerners....with the exception of Arabs. The teachers need to realize that if kawajahs seem more clever, it is primarily for two reasons:

1) The long standing peace they have enjoyed, fostering cooperation between "tribes" who used to kill each other. This enabled them to develop and prosper, making much use of other people's resources, including Africa's.

2) The teaching methodology used in their schools to teach students, that makes learners believe in themselves, that there is nothing they can not do or achieve if they just try long and hard enough!

Training native Sudanese teachers certainly requires more than superficial learning of techniques. I'll share more about this in the future.